Dead and gone

Chapter 2: Remembered

Her heart ached. The only man that she had ever loved was dead. She wished that they had more time together. She wished that she had past his dark exterior sooner. He may have been grim but beneath that was a man suffering from the demons of his past. A man’s whose past would terrify you with the sort of things you’d see in nightmares. She could still picture him. Black hair blowing in the wind, pale white skin expect for the dark grey rings around his dark green eyes that looked like they held the mysteries of the world. The first time she saw him those eyes pierced through her facade and looked straight into her heart, her soul. He saw the scared little girl cowering behind the strong confident women that was Annabel. She remembered their first words to each other.

“Hello” Annabel said. He grunted in response, not even bothering to look up to see who had spoken.

Much had changed since then she sighs, stood up and walked out of the cemetery. He was dead and gone; she was left here with the pain of losing a loved one. A part of her died with him on that day. She was determined to never love again, to never let anyone get close inside the walls she was building to keep her damaged heart protected. He was her one and only (or so she thought).

Dead and gone

And the bride wore back as she walked through the cemetery the flowers die, the birds stop singing, the wind stops blowing. When she reaches the grave of her lover she falls to her knees with grief. It was meant to be their wedding day. They were meant to be celebrating their love. Now he was dead. They would never hold each other in their arms again. Never lie beside each other and look into each other eyes and whisper “I love you”. It had come to and end. He was dead and gone.

I hate April fools day.
It's a day of saddness for me. I feel depressed and gulity because my best friend committed suicide last year on April fools day because of a mean prank someone played on him. I blame myself, I should have known, I should have stopped him but I didn't. He was the best friend a guy could have had and one of the only people who understood how it was to be deaf since he was deaf also. 

This is why I HATE April fools day.

Huge eyes stare deep into your soul,

Seeing the sadness, the darkness, the blood.

Away you’re running, away from your past.

Tear drops fall like the sunshine disappears into night.

Clouds cover the light of hope, of warmth.

Burnt by the lies, deaf to the plea’s

You run.

Into the night you run.

There he is just standing there, starring at you with puppy dog eyes. He smiles briefly at you breaking your heart. It’s all too much so you so you slam the door. Before the door shuts he sticks his foot in the door way stopping it.

“I just want to talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.” You lie. You don’t want to hear him apologize or even see him. What he did hurt you like nothing else could, still you knew that you loved him and you heart ached for him. You wish you could turn back time to when you both were happy but you know that what’s done is done.

“How about us…” He tries to say but you cut him off.

“There is no us” You state yet you can not look at him while you say it. His blue eye look at you sadly, clearly hurt by your statement.

“That’s not true, if it were true you would be able to look me in the eyes and say that it.” His voice cracks at the end. You try and tell him that you don’t love him, that there is not us.

“I can’t.” Looking into his deep blue eyes you know he will eventually break your heart but you kiss him away. You let you lips meet in a blast of love and passion. You wish you could stop time and stay in his embrace forever. In his embrace you feel safe like nothing will ever hurt you.

“I love you.” He whispers in your ear, meaning dripping off every word, making you smile. All you fears disappear with those three words.

You both stand there not wanting to move from your current position, savoring each others warmth. You knew it would be hard but eventually if you both tried, maybe you could restore what was broken. Maybe this would make you stronger. You had hope that it would be alright in the end. That time would heal the wounds.

“I love you too.”

Maybe just maybe it’ll be okay.

He didn’t want money or fancy cars; all he wanted was to be loved by someone, any one at all. He needed someone to care about him, not his wealth, not his ties to the rich and famous, someone that actually cared about him, the boy with bright blue eyes that sparkled in the sunlight, curly raven black hair and a boyish grin permanently plastered on his face hiding the pain of being alone. Yet no one did, all they saw was the heir to the Jeffrey Empire, the boy that was going to inherited it all. The boy, who was the prefect son, was living up to the Jeffrey name. They never saw the boy’s who’s arms were covered in cuts, the knife against his skin, the blood dripping down staining the carpet, his eyes closing never to open again. No one read the note tucked into his pocket cause no one cared.

 

These were written after my girlfriend cheated on me

I feel like I fell from a ten storey building. I feel like you ripped out my heart leaving me to bleed as you run my heart over with your car. I feel dead inside, nothing will ever affect me, nothing will ever touch me inside and make me feel alive.

Love doesn't walk away... People do! They walk away with our heart and soul leaving us down in the dumps waiting for them to return but sometimes they never come back to us.

My silence, sreaming inside. Is shown on the outside, as suurrounding darkness and my bleeding heart. Bleeding for you.

I found a box of sharp objects, what a beautiful thing. One cut, two cuts, three cuts, four. Slowly the blood drips down and I close my eyes, never to open them again.
 

Okay, so the other day I went to the river with a few mates... One of them decided it would be funny to steal a chicken from some farm. He took it home and left it in his yard. The next day I found it in my front yard so me and Daisy picked it up and took it to the Police Station to report it as stolen property, but there was no-one there. So we took it to the vets and some lady took it home. People looked at us weird as we walked down the street with a live chicken. Daisy named it Marilyn.

I know you were prepared for a totally awesome story but I didn't have one, I know it's a let down but I'll amaze you with my next entry. *shifty eyes*